wake up with no desire
not knowing what the day is going to require.
things to do but nothing gets done
everyone is there but still it feels like none.
you are lost and confused with no where to go
as you walk down the halls you get called a hoe.
the numbness returns, you have no emotion
a plane could crash and you could ignore all the commotion.
helpless, fearful, and out of control
you feel like your life is nothing but a boring stroll
losing desires to get through the day
it just feels like your whole life has been put on delay.
putting things off and falling out of line
all you do is wait for a sign.
you hope and you dream that someone would help you
maybe not help, just a clue what to do.
out of breath out of time
all that is left is to get to the finish line.
the past few months have been some of the oddest months of my life.
i have never been so disappointed in myself ever and its all because of stupid decisions i did or did not make.
I have a feeling that I held back from talking 2 someone because I did not want it to be truly over, so i avoided it? ya makes no sense. I know who I am and what I want but for some odd reason I push myself away from anything that could make me happy. I try so hard to just act like stuff bothers me and it just seems like nothing seems to work.
Life is good now.. i am getting through the day without hating myself, even though I have thoughts about how i wish my life could be if I just took one thing back. oh well... u live and you learn. hopefully someone friendship can form again out of this mess.
dear Natalie and Raechel i am a mess without you guys... look that whole jumble of whatever i just wrote made no sense. i miss u guys. amen.
